You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
