She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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