That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
