If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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