I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's shark week go big or go home
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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