i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
