fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she smelled like a LAN party
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
