So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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