will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
where are my eyebrows?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
