we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
