why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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