am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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