You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
