i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
