Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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