Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
