its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
