How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
