Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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