How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
