A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
no you cant smoke seaweed
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize