Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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