my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
