i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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