I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
