She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
