at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
