there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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