You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
