worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize