I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My life is pants optional.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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