I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
