I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
