idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize