i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
