I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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