dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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