New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
