i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
