Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize