You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
