hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i think my mom watched the whole time
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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