these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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