I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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