Barsexuality is the new black.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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