i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Alive.
So much puke
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
