There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
