So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
