Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
