it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
