I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize