Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
