I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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