He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
