we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
