If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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