His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
