that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
