you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i think im in europe. pls send help
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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