omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I was not drunk enough for that final.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
